


Sekai's Icha Icha Adventures

by The_Mathemagician



Series: Against the World 'verse [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Fic spin-off, Gen, series of drabbles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2019-10-03 16:58:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17287949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Mathemagician/pseuds/The_Mathemagician
Summary: While babysitting Kakashi, Sekai finds his copy of Icha Icha Paradise. Crack ensues.Parody/spin-off of my fic Against the World





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I promised for new years, but tbh I was a bit busy and forgot. Sorry

Part One: Kakashi’s Porn

“Wh-what the hell are you doing?” Kakashi-senpai demanded when he limped out of his bedroom.

“Reading.” I replied from where I was curled up with the dogs. I flipped a page. “You know, the plot of this is actually fairly good, and for the most part the characterization is quite well done.”

My temporary roommate stumbled over to me and snatched the book from my hands. That was fine. I’d already finished it.

“But really, the author doesn’t seem to understand how breasts work. See, that part on page twenty-three? Totally unnatural.” I commented, causing Kakashi-senpai to gape at me. With a small smirk, I continued my commentary. “And the sex scenes are ridiculous! I’d almost think the author a virgin! I mean, half the time you can’t even tell what position they’re supposed to be in! One second they’re doggy style, and the next they’re against the wall with no mention of how they got there! And usually it’s just about the man “impaling her on his shaft, as he fondled her breasts” with no mention of if they’re missionary or she’s on top or what. And really, people don’t bend that way. I mean, I’m really flexible, even for a ninja, but _I_ can’t do that. It seems painful.”

“Aren’t you like seven, or something?” He asked, high pitched.

“So?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “How do you even—You shouldn’t be reading this sort of thing! How do even know about this sort of thing??”

I looked at him as if he were stupid. “I read, obviously.”


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two: Constructive Criticism.

 

“For all your spying on women, I’d think you’d know how boobs work, dude.” I said to Sex Offender after dinner. “I mean, large ones aren’t perfectly perky without any support. Are they made of helium or something?”

“Excuse me?” he growled.

“In your book, Icha Icha Paradise.” I clarified. “The way you describe breasts is unrealistic. You should work on that.”

“Who let you read those?” he squacked. “You’re like, five!”

“I’m eight.” I sniffed.

“Right, well. That’s so much better.” he muttered sarcastically. “Why don’t you share your eight year old wisdom with me and tell me what else I did wrong.”

“Well, I mean. Your female characters need a bit more character development and a bit less chest development, if you know what I mean. They’re kind of one dimensional compared to the dudes.” I replied as if it had been genuine question. “And the smut kinda sucks. I’ve read way better. Are you sure you aren’t a virgin? I mean, I’m eight and I could do better than that.”

Sex Offender's face flushed with offense as he sputtered. "I—what! I am the great Jiraiya! I am not—how _dare_ you accuse me of being a virgin!"

"You seem awfully defensive for someone who's not a virgin," I commented lightly, and walked away.

He made it so easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick update to get something in the series up. I've been very busy with school.
> 
> Thanks for everyone's support and understanding.


	3. Chapter 3

Part Three: Co-Writing

“See, you need to elaborate more there. Is she on her hands and knees? Is he standing or kneeling behind her? Is she on the bed, or the floor? Is _he_ on the bed? This shit matters.”

“Right, right,” Sex Offender nodded seriously, scribbling away in a notebook. “I’ll work on that. Let’s see the part you wrote.”

I unsealed my notebook and flipped it open to the correct page. “Here.” I said, handing it to him.

Sex Offender was silent as he read through my work.

“Damn, that’s actually pretty hot.” he admitted. “I really wasn’t expecting anything decent from you. I half figured it would be something like “He put his thingy in my you know what and we had sex!” or whatever.

“How do you feel about being co-author of the next instalment, Icha Icha Violence?” he offered.

“As long as I can use a pseudonym. And I get to be in charge of the female character development.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm busy with school. Have this~

**Author's Note:**

> I like to imagine, in the AtW 'verse at least, that Kakashi actually reads Icha Icha fort he plot, not the porn. To him that's just a bonus.


End file.
